What is a Trunkmonkey?
Originally created in January, 2000 by Sean Sosik-Hamor, the Trunkmonkey concept had been floating around the labs for quite a while before anyone actually decided to implement it. Consisting solely of a trained monkey and a steady source of ice cold high-quality import ale or lager, the Trunkmonkey lives in the trunk of any vehicle and helps to automate weight transfer at the rear wheels during spirited driving maneuvers.
Originally developed for the Subaru Impreza, WRX, Forester, and Legacy, the Trunkmonkey has been adapted to many other platforms.
Are t-shirts available?
Want a t-shirt? Trunkmonkey t-shirts, jerseys, tanktops, sweatshirts, shorts, mugs, mousepads, clocks, Frisbees, stickers, journals, and bags are available, and help to support Trunkmonkey Racing. RALLYDECALS.com is the official supplier of Trunkmonkey Racing’s vehicle graphics.
But why a monkey?
Because they’re extremely intelligent and agile creatures. And, most importantly, clinical tests show that not only do monkeys have a taste for beer, but some bloodlines have an extremely high tolerance level for alcohol. This is important because Trunkmonkeys must be able to stay steady on their feet while intoxicated, even under the most demanding driving conditions.
So how exactly does STmi Technology work?
Subaru Trunkmonkey Inertia Technology is based on the laws of physics mixed with the chaos of a drunken Trunkmonkey. Just like the crew on a large racing yacht distributes ballast to compensate for heavy winds hitting the sail, Trunkmonkeys distribute ballast in the trunk of a car to compensate for body roll going through corners and powerslides. Trunkmonkeys are also responsible for keeping body roll to a minimum when getting the vehicle airborne during rallies and other offroad events.
Why is development taking so long?
Trunkmonkey Racing is currently testing various breeds to find the best compromise of weight, dexterity, intelligence, and the ability to consume massive amounts of alcohol in a relatively short period of time. We realize now that finding the perfect breed that can complete complex physics calculations while highly intoxicated is an extremely daunting task, and research and development has been pushed ahead at full speed.
Prototype designs of the Cold-Ale Intake System are also being rigorously tested to enhance Trunkmonkey speed, performance, and well-being.
Will Trunkmonkeys be available for manufacturers other than Subaru?
It is unknown at this time whether Trunkmonkey Racing will start training monkeys for other vehicles. The schooling process is extremely complex and Trunkmonkeys must learn the physics and all handling characteristics for all Subaru models. Combined with the fact that Trunkmonkey Racing only has access to Subaru platforms for testing purposes, it is unlikely that Trunkmonkeys will be trained for other manufacturers anytime soon.
We have, however, heard unconfirmed rumors of an unofficial Mazda Trunkmonkey under development. Various Audi and Volkswagen drivers have also been spreading rumors of a Trunkmonkey in the works for their respective platforms. We are closely watching this situation and take industrial espionage very seriously.
Can Trunkmonkeys be trained to accomplish other tasks?
Given enough incentive (alcohol), Trunkmonkeys can be trained to accomplish virtually any menial task. While driving, Trunkmonkeys can assist in navigation or fetching objects inside the car, which is extremely convenient for TSD rallies or other non-performance oriented events. Off the track, Trunkmonkeys rather enjoy mechanical tasks such as checking tire pressures, placing jack stands, and changing oil. As long as a cold brew is in one hand and a wrench is in the other, they’re happy.
Can I modify my Trunkmonkey?
Trunkmonkeys are rather discriminating creatures and don’t take kindly to unnecessary poking and prodding. They’d rather not have foreign objects attached to various parts of their anatomy.
What do I feed my Trunkmonkey?
Although Trunkmonkeys can theoretically survive on beer alone, they tend to get rather fat and lazy after a few months without a balanced diet. During initial testing, a car was rolled due to the weight of a sleeping Trunkmonkey leaning to one side. To prevent this from happening, a balanced diet of beer, pizza, Taco Bell and granola must be strictly enforced.
What is Trunkmonkey.com? Where did the rest of the site go?
Trunkmonkey.com used to be an information repository for Trunkmonkey Racing, The New England Subaru Impreza Club, and various other personal projects run by Sean Sosik-Hamor. Since the content management system started getting unwieldy with so many different sections, it was decided to split up the site into multiple domain names. Unfortunately, this broke quite a few links and we’re still sweeping up the debris.